“The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture.” – Doug Phillips
My thanks to our dear friend, Abby, for jogging my mind to today’s post. Abby is in 9th grade and doing research on adoption. She emailed us a list of questions, which helped me focus on one of our greatest blessings in life – adoption. Also thanks to Mr. D., a faithful teacher at our church in Albany, who faithfully taught us that God has a special place in his heart for orphans, widows, and aliens in the land.
Exodus 22:22-24 – “You shall not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword….” God is clearly saying – Do not mess with my babies!
So why did we adopt? We wanted to adopt even before we were married. God put the call in our hearts, and we knew we would adopt, regardless of natural-born babies. I met an amazing, colorful family 18 years ago, comprised of six kids. Two were black, two bi-racial, and two caucasian. Three of the six were disabled. I was amazed – and hooked! That has stuck with me ever since. I am thrilled to say that our kids don’t “match”. I love to tell the story of how God put us together. It reminds me of the miracles He did with all of us. This family was designed purposefully by God.
Is it a struggle? Absolutely! Knowing that Julianna and Matthew both have another mother out there somewhere, answering their questions about her though it breaks our hearts, explaining why our skin is different, enduring the stares and questions (often idiotic), wondering if there is something in their health history that will be a huge hurdle in the future – yes, it is hard. But I would not change it for anything. In this – hear us clearly say – Do not mess with my babies!
Adoption is a calling, not a choice. I hesitate to recommend adoption to anyone who wants to help an orphan escape poverty, have education, etc. These are our children, they are our family – Julianna and Matthew are not and have never been charity cases. I bristle when people tell me how fortunate they are to have us – no, we are the fortunate ones to have them. We raise them the same way we raise Laura and Thomas. I pray that being in this bi-racial family will cause all of us – our friends and family – to view color differently. Actually, to not view it at all.
Before we adopted, we fostered. Here’s a salute to B, J, M, D, J, S, D, S, and C. You broadened our world. Fostering is a totally different mindset than adoption. We knew it would eventually end, although we desperately wanted to adopt B, J, and M. We pray you are happy and have met Jesus personally. We pray that your time in our family changed you as it did us.
We also have three kids in Heaven today – Joshua (1998), Grace (2000), and Lindy (2005). We will meet you and play with you there. You will love Julianna, Laura, Thomas, and Matthew!
So to sum up this rambling post: Thank you God for our children – all 16 of them! Each of them has a story, and each of them has impacted us forever.
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Please take a minute to be involved. If God is tickling your heart about adoption, take the first step – research! www.adoption.com is a great place to start. If you know of an adoptive family, get to know them. Every adoptive family I have met has a amazing story to tell! Consider fostering – it is the hardest job I have ever had by far, and God does not call us to easy lives. Foster parents need your help – your encouragement! They are bound by more legal red tape than you can dream of, and for Christians trying to make a difference, it is very hard. I believe that God is calling the Christian church to greater involvement in caring for orphans. What God calls us to, He equips us for. Our friend, Mr. Lew Rowell, in Marietta, GA, is front and center in this charge to involve Christian churches in foster care. You go, Mr. Lew!
If you cannot foster, you can adopt a child through a group like Compassion International, www.compassion.com, and send monthly financial support for their healthcare, education, food, and clothes. Steven Curtis Chapman has established a foundation to help Christian families with adoption expenses: Shaohannah’s Hope, whose theme is “Mobilizing the Body of Christ to care for orphans.” A little money can go a long way.
Am I on a soapbox? Probably. Am I passionate about this? Yep. I am convinced that the “American dream” of 2.5 kids, a puppy, and a white picket fence is not “God’s dream”. May God shake our conscience without letting up until we willingly follow Him – in whatever crazy direction He leads!
